growth spurt

 Recently I've gone through a growth spurt. And I'm not talking the, I'm 32 and can finally reach the top shelf in my kitchen without sitting on the sink, type of growth spurt. I mean the other kind. The much more painful, EMOTIONAL kind. It started a couple of weeks ago. My depression was at the lowest its ever been. My anxiety was off the charts (there's a fun mix ). And I was just, done. I was drained. I didn't want to go to work, I was fighting with a co-worker which did not help the situation at all. I didn't want to talk to or see, anyone. I wanted to be left alone in my misery. And then, my cat got sick. My poor little Furrball. I had her for 11 years because I got her right around the same time as when my dad passed away. Anyway, I tried everything to make her feel better. Spent tons of money on special food to try to get her to eat. I took her to the vet and was told possibly her kidneys were the problem but before they did all of the testings for that that I would have to give her meds and IVs. We got through the weekend together and back to the vet on Monday. She had not gotten any better so after weeks of trying to make her comfortable and three days straight of me crying into her fur I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. I had to let my baby go to sleep for the last time. I was able to hold her and rock her and rub her little head until she finally closed her eyes. It was one of the worst days I've ever had. And I cried for days after. The timing of it all seemed so unfair and I didn't know how I was supposed to go on with my life. But I did. I"m still far from healed but I'm improving every day. And I've come to really appreciate my friends. Sometimes we fight, but they do want what is best for me. So now, I'm taking everything one day at a time so that I don't become so overwhelmed.  And I count my blessings that I still have my Chi cat. Then today I went and got some ink therapy.  On my way home I realized that this was the first tattoo that I've ever gotten by myself. And that too was growth.